A bit more of Q&A

I’ve wanted to do a remake of the biotin rant for a while. I was never really happy with it: It was written as a direct reply to someone back on LHC and I think it shows in the whole post. I even had to cut it down to get it to fit the 10.000 characters post limit. The whole thing reads as one long reply to someone and not an “article” or a piece worth linking to or remembering. I was actually a bit surprised it was taken so serious and became so popular.

Anyways. For the last two weeks the word document that contains it has been staring accusingly at me from its little icon and my desktop and I… Have been experiencing a complete writers block on it. The only thing I’ve managed to do is to clutter the document up with links and quotes.

I guess I just feel completely demoralised on putting some “real” work into it. I know those who already agree that moderation is the way to go will agree with it no matter what I write. And those who thinks I’m a jealous bitch who isn’t half as smart as them anyways (Also, I have bad hair!) because they found the magical pill for hair growth and just I’m trying to keep people from learning the secret to super hair growth will disagree with me no matter how many studies and recommendations I quote.

So yea, it feels entirely demoralising to put my best effort into it. It feels like just asking people to consider moderation will be met with a loud “Pfft!” complete with flying spit and all.

Meh.

So, time for more procrastination and replying to my gentle readers!

I think it's awesome you wanted to go bald. I've known a few people who have done this for that reason, or for charity events, but they wanted to try it and chose a cause so to speak.
It's sad that people can't do anything like this for their own reason. I mean, heck, it's your head, your hair and it suited you! and it seemed like fun--well, outside of the odd hair growth phases--to see where your hair would end up/how it would look etc.
Very admirable. :) 

~ Darkhorse

That’s a good point. Maybe you get less attitude from people for being bald if you can inform them you did it for a good cause? I guess if I had known of a worthy charity that could have benefitted from my bald head, I would have done it for them instead of only myself.

My only regret is that I didn’t get dreadlocks or something cool before shaving it. Why not do something like that if you’re going to cut it anyways? I could have used more planning!

Thanks for replying! I found one 400g container of cassia at the local health foods/organic goods/homeopathic excesses store. Sounds like that's more than enough!
I've been curious about the thickening properties in part because my mother has really really thin hair and worries about it a lot. If I try cassia and it works for me, I might suggest we try it together sometime. 

~ gossycrafts

Most welcome! I try to reply to people’s posts when they take the time to comment or ask me something, but I’m really bad at remembering it. Same with emails. I always forget to reply after reading.

I have a single additional thought to cassia: I guess depending on how thick (Cassia heavy) your mix is you may want to double the volume of how much treatment you usually use. A standard 200 ml conditioner bottle can give me a nice coverage for a deep conditioning, but I think I need to almost double the volume in total for cassia. It’s a lot harder to spread and you probably shouldn’t try too hard when it’s so “rough” and grainy. (That’s a good quality if you want to exfoliate your scalp though!)

OMG I really really enjoyed you talking about shaving your head and people's reactions and general stupidity. I find it very impressive that you're so sensible about stuff like this, I find people in the "long hair community" (not the forum with that name just people online who grow their hair long and care about it a lot) react really weirdly to things like shaving your hair. It's almost like long hair is "sacred" or something and if you do anything like dye/cut/damage/shave it, you're a criminal! 

~ Theodora 

Haha, thank you, thank you!

Uhm, gosh where to start here…

1) Thank you. But I said that already.

2) Someone once used the term “long hair circuit” and I kind of liked that. That should cover all forums and non-forums and groups and tumblrs and what have you. It’s not meant to correct you or anything, I just kind of like it.

3) Completely agree on the “sacred” thing. And I totally don’t get that!

I mean, most of us live in societies where shoulder length hair is considered “long” and waist length is “Holy effing crap!”-long. Hence, people with really long hair get a lot of crap from people who don’t get it (Just see how many threads with “My [Blank] said something mean about my hair!” you can find on any hair forum) and naturally it’s nice to go on a forum where people understand you!

And yet, you get a lot of crap about “ideal” hair. And a lot of people being busy passing judgement on hair that in their personal world is “weird” (Because their own hair is of course normal)

You would think you could find a “sisterhood” in having long hair and having other people not understanding, but instead of supporting each other in their “weird” hair, so many pass judgement on hair, treatments, cuts and methods?

I’ve even had people getting upset over plans to trim my hair. Yes, people get upset because I wanted to trim my own hair. I don’t think I can explain my reaction to that without using several curse words.

It’s like if you have “good” hair you absolutely have to grow it super duper long. Which I really don’t get. And seems to be indirectly/passive-aggressively rude to everyone who doesn’t have “good” hair. Because it is not “Such a shame!” if someone with thin hair cuts it? Errh…

Long speech short: I agree. I don’t get it. I don’t get the pushing for “the perfect length” and I don’t get why people are so busy passing judgement on other people’s hair.

(Boring anecdote: On LHC someone posted how “World record long hair would be crazy!!!1!” and I replied that it wasn’t very nice since someone with “world record long hair” could easily be a member there. I mean, honestly, what kind of idiot would go on a long hair forum and then post about how crazy extra long hair is? Anyways, apparently that was very rude of me and I got an infraction for it. Shortly after, she posted about how she had overheard a comment that might have been about her hair so naturally she came to whine and moan and get lots of sympathy on LHC. How do you like your tall glass of karma, bitch? Unfortunately in her case, it didn’t come with a side order of “learning from your experiences”.)

4) I just don’t think I’m a shallow person in that way. I’m not beating my own drum and I know everyone probably says so too, but I really don’t think I am.

Maybe it comes with having super sensitive skin. I always had people drawing conclusions about me based on the state of my skin (“Filthy pig who can’t do a simple wash-tone-moisturise routine” seems to be a surprisingly common conclusion) and I guess I just never felt the need to take my frustrations out on other people. Appearances don’t say much about the real person inside.

5) Before I shaved my head I did a lot of fun things to my hair. Mostly bleaching or colouring in crazy coloured stripes. I actually quite liked the crazy streaks. It was fun, easy, you could display them or hide them and didn’t take too much upkeep: If you aren’t super dedicated to colouring-upkeep it seems all crazy colours eventually fades into a disgusting rotten moss-kind of colour. With just stripes, you are a lot freer.

But no matter what crazy colour thing you do to your hair, someone else has done it already. It probably won’t shock anyone but a few conservative grandparents. Being bald on the other side… Well, no one sane would voluntarily go bald, right? Right!

So up to shaving my head, I had never really experienced anyone giving me crap for my hair. That all changed though.

But all criticism and meanness depends on where it comes from.

My mother was deeply disturbed by my bald head. But to quote Chandler Bing on Friends: “I expect this from her. She has always been a Freudian nightmare.”

What I didn’t expect though, was that my closest friend at that time acted like that too.

The following might be offending, but I think I need to explain anyways: She used to be fat. Like, not “curvy” or anything. She was a fat girl. But once she went off to university and away from moms home cooking and was busy with school and taking care of herself (Less time for snacking?) the weight just dropped off her. She told me about how angry it made her that people treated her differently. How annoyed she was that guys never looked twice before. How people treated her with more respect now. How everyone suddenly stopped treating her like “the fun one”.

In short; I thought she was a non shallow friend. I thought she had learned from her personal experience how awful it is when people are shallow jerks.

I guess I assumed there was a version of “Do not do unto others what you would not want them do unto you.” that went “Do not repeat unto others what others have done to hurt you.”  

But with my waist length hair gone and a bald head instead, she turned out the be embarrassed to be seen with me!

That hurt me really deeply. I still can’t believe that someone who should have learned that beauty comes from the inside and that shallowness is awful and hurtful would act like that. We ended up just sort of going our separate ways and I haven’t talked to her in 10 years, but I will never forget that experience.

Other than just plain being a bad friend, it had me thinking: What if I got a sickness that affected my looks? What if I got cancer and turned bald “for real”? What if I ended up in an accident and in a wheelchair? Maybe covered in scars?

How would she react to that if she was embarrassed over just my bald head?

No, people like that have no place in my life.

And on that sunny note… Good night to all!

Random amusement of the day

Bit of Q&A

That's amazing!! You look so different with the shorter hair and I'm rather jealous you look gorgeous with any length!!

~ Darkhorse

Thank you! I actually really loved the super short hair- up to about an inch in length, I would say? It was really cute and kind of elfish on me. But it was pretty boring too, haha.

Ever since this post, you've gotten me thinking about cassia. How much cassia do you use for a treatment?

~ gossycrafts

My cassia pack is about 130 gram and I use half of it. The circa 65 grams are about 1,5 dl in all since its quite voluminous.

I’ve been thinking about using the whole pack for a treatment since its quite hard to ”smear” at least if you don’t add extra water or tea to the conditioner mix! (You probably shouldn’t “massage” it around too much either when the texture is so rough and grainy)

I add it to around 4 dl of conditioner mix to get a good cover.

Your hair look amazing and the hairdo was a really good choice to go with the clothes. I'm absolutely in love with the bathing suit's print, your designer friend is very talented!

~ Theodora

I told her you said that and she was really happy!

Have you ever posted photos of your hair before you shaved your head? I don't think I've ever seen your hair when you were younger/leading up to the big buzz. Or do you prefer to keep those private?

 ~ Darkhorse

Hmm. I guess I never thought anyone would really be interested in seeing that? To be honest, I think you’re the first one to ask.

I know I have posted one because it is in my upload:

(Not very flattering one, hmm. Don’t know why I uploaded this? I think it might be from the university Christmas party a few days before I shaved it all off. )

I may have a few paper photos of myself pre-shave somewhere, but otherwise I’d have to look around at my parents. Might be fun to show pictures of how I grew my bangs out the first time! 

I always find it interesting to see 'before and after' and I think this was the only photo I'd seen of you prior to shaving. I think you'd said you'd had very damaged hair and hence the shaving, but was curious to see how it looked prior to the shave :) 

~ Darkhorse

It depends a little on the circumstances what I say.

Yes, it was damaged. But I could probably have salvaged it anyways. The truth is that I actually wanted to try it (Gasp)

But people have a really weird reaction when you tell them you shaved your head.

If you tell them it was because it was really damaged, then all is good: Why yes, of course you have to cut damaged hair. It’s like an unwritten rule! Because if you don’t, it will… Errh. Start growing its evil damaged ends into your skull and kill you. Or something. Yep.

For some reason I will never understand, that is an acceptable explanation for everyone. No further questions, no follow up curiosity, nothing.

If I just want to get away from the subject, I will go with this.

But the truth is that I really wanted to try it. I had the thought of trying to go bald a few times leading up to it and when I brought it up to a friend, she said “Well, better do it now. Soon you will be too old to do something like that” and for some reason it scared me more than the thought of what I would look like bald.

But people have a weird reaction to that. Most of the time they react like you had just admitted you enjoy hitting babies with puppies. Some times they get thoroughly offended by what you did in your past with your own hair growing out of your own body. Because that somehow affects them. Several times I even got mean remarks about “mocking cancer patients”. Right. Because they somehow copyrighted the bald head? And because cancer patients will feel offended over random people being bald? Funny thing is, the cancer survivors I have met have all been the most down to earth people who learned how shallow, silly things like that doesn’t matter anymore. If you want people who truly look away from your skin and see only your actions in life and your soul; Talk to cancer survivors. They don’t care. And they would be horrified that people feel the need to “defend” them like this.

But yea, some times I really don’t feel like starting a discussion about people’s stupid shallowness or try to teach anyone a lesson. Then I go with “It was really damaged”. And then people all nod to themselves because that was the mature and correct thing to do. Or something. 

Hmm, oops?

I just realized I didn’t post at all last week. I guess I feel like I’m in a small slump at the moment and that goes for my hair too. I seem to have a way of self-sabotaging my life and/or procrastinating until I screw things up.

Too bad though; Yesterday it was 10½ years ago I was bald!

And I couldn’t even bother to do anything cool with it for the occasion.

Hm.

I still plan on getting a trim soon. Hubby’s comment was “Oh god, no!” Then he begged with increasing desperation to ask anyone but him to do it.

Heh. What he doesn’t seem to get is that I much prefer his “Scared shitless” attitude over any stylists “Oh fun! A blank canvas to toy with!”

A fun thing that happened: I was quoted on something I wrote on one of the Facebook hair groups. If I had known someone would end up copying my little speech I would have put a little more effort into it!

New video up