Blogging from A to Z challenge: V is for Vaguely creepy endearing weirdos

 

History lesson ahead!

Today's post takes us back to the month of September 2010 where Christchurch was hit by a 7,1 earthquake, where Lady Gaga wore her meat dress and where Netflix made their first expansion into another market: Canada. It's that long ago.

In internet culture, the idea of planking was beginning to take off, Instragram was launched and Limewire shut down. Feel old yet?

"Vaguely creepy endearing weirdos" was a bit of a meme or inside joke on the longhair community, even years after this event happened. I'm not sure if people still use it though.

On September 20th, 2010 an article went up on a now defunct website named lemondrop.com. 

(Not so shocking that the site would cease to exist if this article is representative of the quality of their work btw)

"Secrets of a former beauty editor: how to grow long, healthy hair"
The next day, it was brought up on Longhaircommunity in the post "LHC members are vaguely creepy! (2010 article) [Epic thread]"

The site lemondrop.com no longer works, but here is the imprint on the Wayback Machine
The Longhaircommunity forum response thread exist in two different places:
LHC members are vaguely creepy! (2010 article) [Epic thread]
and the archived version here: Archived

The text of the original article is as follows

Secrets of a Former Beauty Editor -- How to Grow Long, Healthy Hair
Sep 20th 2010 By Cat Marnell

Posted in Beauty, Advice
13 Comments

I've been obsessed with Long Hair Community -- the vaguely creepy site for people who like to take photos of themselves sitting on their long, long hair, then post them on the Internet to brag about it -- for years.

Just read the message boards with posts titled things like "I FINALLY HAVE MY FAIRY-TALE HAIR!". It's addicting. They've got a lot to teach me about growing my hair to levels of Rapunzel-worthy epic-ness, and I can't get enough.

Of course, when it comes to growing out your hair, the real key is -- as your friend and mine Axl Rose would tell you -- just a little patience. Actually, a lot of patience. It takes forever! And then there's that stupid rule that you have to keep cutting it to keep it healthy while you grow it! I hate that rule, but I've interviewed 40 million (not an exaggeration, practically) hair experts and stylists over the years and they've all said it's true.

Anyhow, that brings me to this: the endearing weirdos of Long Hair Community and all of the amazing advice I've culled from them over my years as a beauty editor. Among the most useful information are the products and tools the die-hards swear by. You don't have to totally convert to long-haired-loony-dom, but whether you try a few these tricks or all of them, you'll get results. Read on!

1. Deep Conditioner, Leave-ins and Hair Oil
OK, OK, OK. How bored are you about reading about how important it is to deep condition? Answer: not as bored as I am about writing about it, friend. I've written the same article 10 times! Because, duh, intensive treatments are crucial if you want healthy long hair, and I promise you that no one will ever tell you otherwise.

But I'm starting with conditioners because they're the essential to end all essentials. So, to review what we all already know as quickly as possible: Find a deep conditioner that you love to leave on for 30 minutes twice a week. I am a lifelong devotee of Terax Crema, which is not only one of the best-working treatments ever, but one of the best-smelling ones, too. I am also a big fan of the conditioners that come in boxes of hair dye, which are now sold individually, like Clairol Nice 'N Easy ColorSeal Gloss Conditioner.

Another way to condition is with leave-in. Again, Terax is a favorite of mine: their Life-Drops, which have reconstructive protein, are so, so good, as is Frederic Fekkai's Protein Rx Reparative Spray -- it's a dewy milk that's super-lightweight and doubles as a detangler. And my hair is a long, fake blonde, tangled mess – both soften and pretty it right up like crazy. I actually use both products together every day, to give you any indication of how much product I need just to look decent and unlike early '80s Vince Neil.

Use hair oil on dry split ends: anything really works here; I use Philip B. These are not inexpensive, particularly, either. I spend money on conditioning. Not denying it.

2. Biotin Vitamins
We here at Lemondrop do not endorse of any kind of compulsive pill-popping to achieve glossy, Kardashian-worthy (minus the extensions -- oh puh-leeasse, like they don't have them) hair, but as far as taking supplements go, a daily dose of these babies is safe -- unlike, say, habitually abusing pre-natal vitamins for vanity purposes. (Not unheard of in Hollywood circles.) They make hair and nails stronger and more lustrous (can nails be lustrous? Just go with it.), are relatively inexpensive, and can be found at any GNC or Vitamin Shoppe, or here on amazon.com. They allegedly make hair grow faster, and while this is probably true, remember that still means your hair will grow agonizingly slowly, just ... a little less agonizingly so.

3. Scrunchies, Snag-Free Elastics and the Spin-PinFirst of all, that's right, SCRUNCHIES! How psyched is your inner Kimmy Gibler? Okay, the reason you need a scrunchie is because you need to be seriously, seriously protecting your hair from snagging at all times, especially at night, especially when you wear it up. You're going to look really dorky and unsexy, like, a lot, and you're going to just have to deal.

Don't try to make it work, style-wise. It just doesn't. (Well, OK, Urban Outfitters has some cute ones, but that's it. Oh, and American Apparel. FINE. Scrunchies are back for real life! Gross.) At night, sleep with your hair wrapped up in a bun right on TOP -- not at the back -- of your head, like you're the kidnap-ably cute ballerina little sister in "Welcome to the Dollhouse." Bonus: During the day, you can put them on your dog! Gotta love Etsy.

Then, during the day, if you can't bring yourself to wear the scrunchie out of the house (and I don't blame you, my dear), go with snag-free elastics, like these by Blax, which every hairdresser I've ever interviewed has named as the best elastics for mastering really sleek, beautiful ponytails and buns, so you should probably add them to your hair-care arsenal anyway.

I've also read only the biggest raves on Long Hair Community about Goody Spin Pin, a coiled miracle bobby pin of sorts which holds up gigantic buns and French twists (sort of high-class prosti-chic, but I'm into it) with minimal damage to hair. You can even wear them when you work out and they stay put, according to everyone who seriously won't shut up about them. Has anyone reading this tried them? AWESOME.

4. Sulfate-Free Shampoo
The key thing about sulfate-free shampoo is that it doesn't strip your hair of any crucial oils or other conditioning agents essential to having beautiful, long healthy hair. The downside is that many of the best sulfate shampoos are akin to fragrance-free laundry detergent: they leave your hair, after a shower, simply smelling like unscented ... hair. It's sort of disconcerting.

As far as product goes, I cannot recommend enough, for those very serious about this growing-your-hair-long thing, a line of fantastic, absurdly gentle shampoos by a little-known brand called Aestelance; they are an entire company devoted especially to people who are obsessed with long hair, and every product is like nothing you've ever tried. Drugstore brands are also on the sulfate-free bandwagon: check out these options from Organix, L'oreal, Burt's Bees and TIGI Bed Head.
Oh, and the in-shower tip here is to shampoo at the roots and scalp only, which is truly where you need it most anyway; this way you don't strip good oils from the length of the hair. Later, skip conditioner at the roots so they won't get weighed down, then condition the length of your hair which you neglected to shampoo practically to death (or for however long you can stand it, whatever).

5. Satin Pillowcase
A satin pillowcase, in theory, sounds both expensive and prissy when you imagine it in your head, but is actually cheap and butch! No, I'm joking. It's just a regular-looking pillowcase. It doesn't have to be shiny-satin per se, just a special, non-breakage pillowcase like this one, which only costs $10.

6. Boar-Bristle Brush and the Old T-Shirt Trick
OK, so there are all sort of crazy rules you have to follow about brushing and combing your hair in order to grow it long and perfect. LIKE: Do not even THINK about brushing it when it's wet. You can only brush it when it's dry, and preferably before every shampoo, so you distribute the oils over every strand to protect them from shampoo and don't have to detangle much post-shower -- hair is most vulnerable to breakage when it's dripping and you're roughing it up with a towel. Oh, and incidentally, stop roughing it up with a towel! What are you thinking?! Everyone on Long Hair Community dabs their gorgeous hair dry with old, soft T-shirts, and now I finally know what to do my The Cramps tank top that's too obscene to wear out of the house. (I'm not trying to be mean, by the way. I'm just trying to terrify you. It's two totally different things!)

AND you're supposed to use a boar-bristle brush. I'm too lazy and this post is too long already for me to look up if that means the bristles are extracted from ACTUAL BOARS. WHATEVER. Maybe some PETA henchman will do my research for me in the comments section for me if I'm lucky. Boar-bristle brushes can be expensive -- the ultimate example being the stylists' universal favorite, any style seen sold here by Mason-Pearson, but there are cheaper versions at beauty supply stores. The most expensive stylists I've ever been to rave about these boar bristle brushes by Denman, which are totally affordable indeed.

7. Wide-Toothed Comb
When you're out of the shower, comb out wet hair and tangles with a wide-toothed comb. Please tell me you own one already. I linked to the Sephora comb if not; it's good, but they are all good. And that's it. You're not allowed to blow-dry your hair EVER AGAIN! Or flat iron it, or curl it! Seriously! If you're serious about growing your hair long like a fanatic, at least. That's the biggest lesson you'll learn from reading the Long Hair Community message boards -- posting about crimping your hair in one of those forums would be like waltzing drunk into an A.A. meeting. No one would be feeling you. So if you're seriously trying to grow your hair long, curb your hair tool enthusiasm at least a little bit and, again, patience is key.

Good luck! Leave any hair growth tips, stories and experiences of your own in the comments section -- we can start our own little Lemondrop community, har har!

Cat Marnell was a magazine beauty editor before she was a blogger. She HATES the words "tresses", "locks," and "mane" because no sane person uses them in conversational speech, which is why you had to read "hair" over and over again throughout this post. Check out her other awesome "Secrets of an Ex-Beauty Editor" posts here.

Comment section of the original post

Monday 20 September
By KMBuckeye

I totally agree with the Biotin! I started using it in January due to medication I was on that was making my hair thin. It has come back stronger, and healthier. I take 5,000 micrograms a day, which equates to 5 milligrams. There's no known side effects either.

Tuesday 21 September
By sibiryachka

LHC is already buzzing about this article! ; ) I've been called much, much worse than "vaguely creepy" before, so no offense taken...

Tuesday 21 September
By missjessiecakes

I am a member over there. Thank you for noticing us. However, there are a few inaccuracies in your article. Plenty of people there use sulphates and cones. There are also many who do heat style. Yes you have to considerably cut it down but we have many members that also color treat and flat iron.
Biotin has been reported to cause some acne problems in some. Not everyone uses a BBB for some its a no go especially a lot of curly members.
Also make sure your wide tooth comb is seamless! Bodyshop has a nice wood one :D Anyways happy growing.

Tuesday 21 September
By LHC Member

We're glad you like our advice! :)

Tuesday 21 September
By LHC member

Your article is inaccurate and or lacking in information in a number of places; I agree with missjessiecakes. Seems like you've spent all in all 5 seconds on the boards and made-up your mind to misrepresent an entire community.

Tuesday 21 September
By AnotherLHCer

Vaguely creepy? I think of LHC more as a supportive place to get hair care tips, but okay. Perhaps creepy is in the eye of the beholder.

First off, Spin Pins rock and I couldn't have gotten my hair as long as I did without a satin pillow case. Everything else you posted is a fail for my hair/skin type, with the exception of the wide toothed comb..

I MUST detangle both before and after wetting my hair, or the darn stuff snarls forever and that is the end of it. I am very careful when it is wet, however. I still use a towel. BBB's are not nearly as useful as my Tangle Teezer. Biotin made my skin break out. Anything with protein in it turns my hair into dry, crispy velcro, despite it being color treated. I don't use scrunchies. They would slide right off the end of a braid in the night, and a bun on top of my head pulls because my hair is so darned heavy!

While I don't use a blow dryer often, I do occasionally. I think the trick when blow drying is don't use high heat and don't leave it in one spot so long you crisp your hair.

I hit tailbone thanks to LHC and I am considering creeping closer to classic.

Tuesday 21 September
By LHC member

Well, I had to come read what all the buzz is about on the LHC! Part of the reason you're seeing disagreements with some of our members even is this - we have people who wish to grow their hair only to their bra strap or to their waist.. These are the ones who will be still flat ironing, etc. usually. It's only when you want to get to super long lengths that it becomes so very important (and even then, I know of at least a couple people on LHC past classic length who dye their hair!)

Oh, and BBB are the actual hairs off of a boar, yes. :)

Tuesday 21 September
By Melanie

A couple of issues... not everyone needs to use sulfate-free shampoos. Many people start having scalp issues when sulfates are taken out of the equation.

Similarly, not everyone likes using conditioners with silicones. They work for some people but are a nightmare for others. Also, if you pair sulfate-free shampoos with heavy, silicone-based conditioners, you may find yourself experiencing some buildup, which can make perfectly healthy hair go limp and lank.

Finally, there is no reason why hair needs to be trimmed regularly. Hairstlyists tell you this so you and your money come back frequently. Plenty of people can go for months or even years without getting trims. Just gotta trim off split ends, because they can travel up the hair shaft.

So really, there are no rules for having long hair. Just treat is gently and don't cut off more than you grow, and sooner or later you will have long, healthy hair.

Tuesday 21 September
By Khiwanean

Another LHCer here. Some of the things you've mentioned are spot on. Other things... not so much.

No LHCer would take pictures sitting on their hair. That would be inviting mechanical damage. It also makes LHC sound like a fetish site, when the moderators take great pains to keep the fetishists out. We do take progress photos. But that's no different than some diet or exercise sites.

Of course you would be told by so many hair experts and stylists that hair needs to be cut to grow. They make money off of hair cuts or learn from people who do. It does need to be trimmed sometimes for split ends, but not everyone gets those and it should be less than approximately 1/2 inch per month or you will lose length.

A lot of us use cheap products or things found in the kitchen on our hair. Using expensive products on really long hair would be like stuffing shredded fifty dollar bills down the drain while cackling madly. Coconut oil works wonders for me and is not extremely expensive. One of the products you mentioned has isopropyl alcohol as one of the top five ingredients. That will dry your hair out.

You never mentioned Ficcares, Flexi-8s, forks or hair sticks as instruments for pulling hair back. I think more people on LHC use any one of those than scrunchies.

Sulphates do work for some people. Alternative washing methods are also something more people should explore.

Make sure any comb you get in seamless. Otherwise the seams will rough up your hair.

You don't seem to have learned much from your time at LHC. Us "vaguely creepy" people are here to teach and learn the truth about hair care - not what the industry wants us to believe.

Tuesday 21 September
By Yet another LHCer

While I'm glad that you gave us a shout out (hopefully we got some new members), I have to agree with the other LHC members who have commented. You do us serious injustice with your article. You make us sound like a fetish site filled with obsessive "weirdos", which is very unfair.
Also some of your advice isn't quite right. Khiwanean is spot-on.

Tuesday 21 September
By Yet Another Misrepresented LHCer

Are you being paid commission to hawk these ridiculously expensive products? If you spent much time around the LHC you'd realise hair care doesn't have to be pricey to work well, and the combination of products is different for every person. Curlies end up with a tangled disaster from brushes, silicone-heavy conditioners with sulphate-free shampoos is a recipe for build-up and the lank, lifeless hair that goes with it, and Biotin often causes acne - particularly cystic acne - even in those who are several decades past their teens.

There is no miracle product; it's 21st century snake oil. If you want to grow your hair to longer lengths, it's about understanding your hair type and working with it, not throwing money at it.

Tuesday 21 September
By An.Endearing.Weirdo

"I've been obsessed with Long Hair Community -- the vaguely creepy site for people who like to take photos of themselves sitting on their long, long hair, then post them on the Internet to brag about it -- for years."

Hmm, I have yet to find a thread or a photo with people sitting on their hair and bragging about it.

Are we "creepy" because we have long hair, care for it, and enjoy it no matter what the cosmetic/beauty industry says we should do or buy to make ourselves "beautiful" and "happy"? (That is until they tell us that is wrong, too and we need to spend more money to fix it.)

Or are you creepy for lurking on the site for so many years like a voyeur then misusing information, misrepresenting a lot of the members, and twisting the information so that you make your poor readers want to run out and waste money on products and salon visits they really don't need?

As for: "And then there's that stupid rule that you have to keep cutting it to keep it healthy while you grow it! I hate that rule, but I've interviewed 40 million (not an exaggeration, practically) hair experts and stylists over the years and they've all said it's true."

Funny how you didn't take time to mentioning the process of S&D;, being able to trim your hair yourself, or how the average hair growth rate is only 1/2 an inch a month; therefore cutting an inch every 6-8 weeks in a typical salon will negate any growth you are attempting to get. That, and hair grows from the root, not the tips. If your hair is healthy and nearly damage free, you don't have to trim as often as the general population that gushes over their fried hair and cadaver extensions. Some don't need to trim at all and rely just on S&D.;

Growing your hair long will not be the same journey for everyone. People on the LHC know that and understand that and are willing to help people with different hair types find what works for them. The beauty world wants to cookie-cutter everyone and blogs like this don't help everyone as much as you think they might.

Tuesday 21 September
By LHCer :)

Another one here! It's a little silly how you have such a negative outlook on us, but I'm used to that. Everything meaningful has already been said- we're not that weird, it's not a fetish site (which you make it sound like), the products mentioned are more expensive than what we'd use, you forgot some things, etc. - but thank you for the shout-out! :) If nothing else, it gives (some of) us a little thrill to be noticed by the less-'creepy' mainstream blogs. ;)

[End of comment section]

Igor says
I thought the article was really dumb then, and my thoughts are no different now, over ten years later.

This Cat Marnell basically rips off your standard “How to grow healthy hair 101” article, while simultaneously acting smug and superior. She is definitely too cool for that forum! Way above them, really! Look at them and laugh! Like, ironically, totally, like she does!

Also, I can't help but read this in a stereotypical valley-girl tone. It doesn't help make her article funnier or sound smarter.

She definitely knew what she was doing, mocking the forum while stealing the classic advice of her own, and expected drama to come for her that she could profit off. You can almost feel the Trolololol-face behind this, and it makes the article feel even more dated. If it hadn't been for the aspect that she was so obviously seeking attention from the forum, this whole article would have felt even more Web 1.0-esque than it does.

I actually had to go back and check just to see if the person bringing this article up on LHC could have been this articles "author", but since she joined two years before bringing it up, I guess not. I would not have been surprised if that had been the case, especially when she decided to call it "[Epic thread]" in the title. That would have tied very well into the article "authors" Trolololol-personality.

The article has So. Many. Affiliate. Links. The vast majority of them are products that were never popular on any hair forum due to price or lack of effect (I have removed them in the text version) You have to give classic era LHC credit for never hyping products that wasn't worth the money, but the "author" totally missed that important point.

The way she writes really haven’t aged well. Everything about this feels so "last generation internet". Re-reading it today, I can’t help but repeatedly think “Yep, this is why no one likes or trusts “journalists” anymore. You people brought it on yourself”.

Anyways. Basically, there is nothing new or even particularly interesting about her “advice”. Her superior better-then-them attitude and misrepresenting the forum and a lot of the advice is though.

The whole thing was generally just dumb, but the “Vaguely creepy endearing weirdos” stuck around as a bit of a meme.

For archival purposes, I have screenshotted (Screen hot?) the whole thing off the Wayback Machine so it doesn’t slip off the internet again.