Today’s hair

Simple English braid. Actually this braid doesn’t work so well for me because

a)      it cant contain my new growth/regrowth very well

b)      its long enough to get thoroughly caught between my ass and shoulder bag or any couch/soft chair I sit in

Random thought of the day

Messing around “behind the scenes” in my blog can be quite amusing and a little bit scary!

Under “referring sites” I had hits from www.jobsforsmartpeople.com/, http://www.unlockiphone.com/  and www.moredietplan.com. One word: “Wha…?”

Under “search keywords”:

"what type of hijabs do the anime people use?"
I know I’m not the most eager anime-viewer in the world, but does anyone in anime wear hijabi ever? I mean, you wouldn’t want to cover up the bright blue hair and crazy gravity-defying style, would you? Well, at least not in Japan I guess. Indonesia maybe? Do they make anime there?

"igor s if you be my girl"

"fake ponytails"
How did that even lead to my blog? I haven’t worn a ponytail in… 6 years? (I might as well leave it loose. It would get tangled in everything!)

"longhair bun tail shiny hijab"
This one makes me think the Googler forgot to hit enter between 3 different searches. I mean, I can’t even imagine what result they had hoped to get out from this search mash-up?

"smurf pictures and names"
"how to draw a smurf"
This one took me a few minutes to figure out: The Sexysmurf lead the Googler here. Wow, someone was disappointed in Google that day.

” extremely sick from overdose of biotin”
Well, duh.
I’m thinking two things here:

1. It’s unbelievable that people think you can’t get a bad reaction from something because “It’s natural!” So are wasps and pollen and yet people have severe allergic reactions or even die from that every year.
2. It’s unbelievable that people can be so stupid they think they are much smarter than the professionals who studied vitamins for decades and came up with the recommendations on dosage. But maybe they just think some bald, jealous doctor wants to spoil their chances of growing a healthy head of hair? It’s probably the same type of idiot who also thinks speed limits are just there to ruin their fun instead of keeping them, and people around them safe.

But hey, this is a pet peeve of mine. Guess I have spent too much time and energy trying to educate stupid people on LHC who think I just want to keep them from growing better hair than me!

Today’s hair

Pretty much your standard Chinese bun…

... But it’s held with a really cool hair stick I got from Hypnotica (Yes, the one from the awesome youtube channel here)

The bathroom light ate up the pretty details of it, but Hypnotica got a better one of it before sending it to me

And yes, this thing is big! Not only is it one of my longest sticks, it’s definitely the thickest one too. Even though it looks pretty normal on the picture, I really noticed it poking out to the sides

Inspirational

I watched this completely lame “reality” TV today called Tough Love Couples, just because when I randomly zapped by it, one of the girls on it was wearing a totally awesome head covering.
I kept watching that crap just because she kept doing some really, really cool and different scarf-styles
Funny detail was that the buns underneath the fabric looked huge, like, bigger than my buns-huge! But once I saw her without her hair covered, it was just shoulder length. (Nice push-up buns effect!)

Ta-dah!
Simone from Tough Love Couples

With her hair down… Just shoulder length

More personality in a blog?

Lately I’ve been reading a lot of blogs from all sorts of different people and with different focus on their blog. One thing I have noticed is that those who show their personality and blog about their more personal stuff are definitely my favourites. The personal angle makes everything more interesting. Maybe that’s just my own weird observation?

So… How do I add more personality to my blog? I know technically I blog about *my* hair, but it feels more general then personal when I do. A lot of times I have weird little thoughts about hair and stuff that I don’t add to the blog because it feels silly. But maybe those weird little thoughts are what makes it more personal?

Maybe adding this little “thinking out loud” post is what adds more personality to my blog? Or is it maybe just attention-whoring to ask what people think?

So... What do you all think?

Hemp oil

I asked UTT for opinions on what oil to try and the votes swung in favour of the hemp oil. I tried it a few times and have to say I like it very much!

Price: It was the most expensive of the oils that I was considering, but not that bad.

Colour: Deep yellow, darker than olive oil.

Smell: It smells like freshly peeled potatoes. Its not a bad smell as such but not entirely pleasant either.

Absorption: Seems to absorb well in my hair, even when adding quite a lot of it to my ends.

Shine: Had a nice glossy effect.

Detangling: It didn’t tangle and irritate my hair like olive oil and coconut has proved to do.

Overall effect: I think I may have found a new favourite!

Wednesday the 10th of August

Right now I have the length ”marinating” in a mixture of an egg yolk, some cholesterol treatment and some regular conditioner containing protein.

Following advice on UTT I bought hemp seed oil to try in a few days.

My hair had been pretty irritated for about a month: Tangled slightly more than usual, ends felt dry and the roots gloss-less. So I reached for shampoo a few days ago. It’s funny though; right after shampooing my hair always feels really “thin” and flat. The shampooing fixed the issues: My hair now feels smooth, shiny and happy.

I think I shampoo maybe once or twice a year and I really like that using “harsh methods” is just simple, normal shampoo… :)

Yesterday’s hair

Yesterday we went to Copenhagen with one of hubby’s childhood friends and his girlfriend. Although it wasn’t a hot day and still had some clouds, I decided to cover my hair to protect my scalp and hair from the sun.

I really like the “ponytail” effect and that it doesn’t look “religious”. It held all day with no problems other than the usual bit of slipping from the pre-tied bandanna not being entirely big enough for my bun.

The under-scarf is a pre-tied bandanna from coveryourhair.com and the over-scarf is a Tichel from the same place.

My hair is in a braided Nautilus bun held with a megaFlexi.

I slipped the pre-tied bandanna on and pushed it back a bit as I find covering more of my ears drastically reduces my hearing. Left the “tails” hanging down. Folded the Tichel into a triangle and folded it back a few times into a wide headband. Slipped it over the under-scarf and tied it up and around the bun. Then folded the length of the scarf out. Crossed the two “tails” under the bun and tied them up and around.

If your guy doesn’t like long hair...

I'd like to start off with a disclaimer:

The following is written in good humor. It’s an attempt of giving advice and asking to see things from his perspective while doing it in a teasing tone.

I asked my hubby to read it and his reaction was calling me a “big meanie” while hugging me, so I guess an easygoing man can see the intended humor in it.

Of course I am not a psychologist, neither a couple’s therapist but I am a girl with knee length hair and I’ve had a couple of relationships since I started actively growing out from bald and I think I have a good understanding of psychology.

I will only cover "normal" men, as in no asshats who object to your hair just to control you. Unfortunately I dated a selfish drama queen like that for 1½ year. Strangely, I don’t even think he really disliked the hair, he just wanted me to change it because it mattered to me and he wanted to manipulate and control me. Anyways, jerks of that caliber will not be covered here.

All people, male or female, has preferences in the opposite sexes appearance. Ask yourself if your partner has your perfect fantasy appearance. He doesn’t, does he? But you love him just the same and he is the sexiest male in the world to you, isn’t he? Surprise, men aren’t really different in that way. The only difference is that we women tend to take it very, very personally. It’s a bad habit that hurts both ourselves and our partners. Make peace with the fact that he may have a different type fantasy girl but that he still loves you. Either that or stop wasting yours and his time.

But like all sentient animals, men can be trained...

All men just want you to be happy in your relationship and they can be guided gently if you know how to handle them and when to reward them.

But first, start off by asking what you really want from him when it comes to your hair. Have a defined, clear objective in your head on where you want to end up with him. Do you just want him to shut up about voicing his opinion on your "too long" hair? Do you want him to help you care for it and admire it? Do you just want him to express simple opinion such as liking one bun better than another?

Positive and negative reinforcement

Why yes, we are actually going there, back to basic psychology. Don’t underestimate how powerful this is. Reward the behavior you want by expressing your joy immediately after he acts or speaks to reinforce it. A simple "Aw, honey, you’re the sweetest!" will do. He will want to repeat what he said or did to see you beam in happiness. Something similar to "That hurt my feelings" is a powerful negative reinforcement. No man wants to hurt your feelings.

Don’t go where he can’t win

If you already know that your man has a different preference than your hair, don’t ask for opinions or questions when he can’t win. It’s cruel to him and puts you both in a lose-lose situation where he either has to lie to not hurt your feelings, or express his honest opinion and see your hurt face. If you want to ask his opinions on your hair, keep it to something neutral and specific like "What do you prefer? This Ficcare or Flexi in this bun" instead of asking him what he thinks of a haircut, colour or style.

Simplify your communications

I find in general it makes life much easier when I simplify my communications with men. To keep it hair-related, make your own decision that you want to wear something green in your hair and then ask him if he prefers the Ketylo or Flexi in your bun. Don’t expect him to be able to go into a dialogue about the pros and cons about an up do. Make your own hair decisions and then involve him in simple decisions such as colours of hair sticks or style of clips. 

Show him his opinion matters

He might feel "overlooked" when you ignore his opinions on your hair (That silly male pride...) but show him that his opinions matter for other things that matters less to you. Ask him what pants you look the best in or ask what nail polish he prefers. If you notice him admiring something, say, a sexy pedicure, do them as a surprise for him. Show him that you pay attention to his preferences and tastes. This also acts as a distraction to keep him off the hair topic.

“Normality”

Unfortunately, we live in a society where “long hair” is around bra strap length and “very long hair” is waist. Longer hair than that is seen as abnormal and often causes weird, hostile reactions from people (The abundance of “My friend/mother/aunt/boss/etc. said something mean and hurtful about my hair!” threads found on most hair forums speaks volumes) Naturally, a partner won’t be different in the perception of “normal”. Even if he adores your hair, there is no reason to tell him the details of how long ago it has been since last you used shampoo and how half your kitchen supplies double as hair treatments. It might be pushing the “norm” too much to make him feel comfortable. Save your joy of the newest avocado-honey treatment for sharing on UTT with kindred spirits who enjoy it too.

As a matter of fact, generally it seems to me that men aren’t interested in your grooming habits and prefer to believe you roll out of bed looking gloriously sexy and not know how many hours you spend on exfoliating, waxing, doing pedicures, mud masks, digging out blackheads, bleaching unwanted hair, shaping eyebrows, makeup and so on…  

To end this with an anecdote...

When I had hair to just my shoulders, my boyfriend thought it was "long enough" and that mid back was "creepy". When I was at mid back/waist-ish my boyfriend thought that it was "long enough" and classic length hair was "creepy". When I hit classic, the boyfriend then thought that was "long enough"...

I guess what you do or have, will always be measured as the "norm" and anything out of that will be seen as "abnormal". If you just let your hair grow (And let’s face it, it doesn’t grow fast enough to take anybody by surprise...) he will eventually get used to it. Bad pun intended: It will grow on him.

Luckily now, I am married to a man who loves and adores my hair. He likes to pet it and smell my braid (Weirdo) but he doesn’t get involved in the handling and care of it, which is more or less what I wanted from him. As simple as I made everything sound, I’m still working on teaching him that he isn’t welcome in the bathroom when I handle my hair and put it up though! Maybe he will learn when I finally one day accidentally elbow him in the face...?

Good luck with hair-training your man!

The baldie and the Godiva?

Hubby is sweating in the summer heat so I offered him to take the trimmer to his head. He happily accepted it. Now hubby has exactly 1 mm of hair all over his head.

The only thing amusing me more than I, with knee long hair has a freshly balded hubby is that he has the worst tan-line in his forehead and neck from where his hair had shaded his skin…

It is so bad I offered him to see what I could do with some self tan (He declined for some *strange* reason… Hehe)