Monday, 21 May 2018

That brings back memories...

The snailcast did a podcast on the evolution of selfcare. I actually like the topic and agree with a lot of the points they made. It seems like selfcare devolved into "whatever people decide it means" instead of a constructive thing to do to help yourself dealing with pressure. Some "selfcare" seems to be quite destructive actually.
Some selfcare is still true to the meaning of the word though: I like this month challenge here.

However, in the beginning of the episode they talk about how Chel from Holy Snails shaved her head. It brought back a lot of memories and was really fun to listen to for me.

Episode 32: The evolution of self-care

I could have listened to a whole podcast on this!
The only thing that bothered me with it, was that she/they at no point talk about experiencing bad reactions to this. But I guess it was too new at that point to have encountered any people with opinions being jerks about something that in no way affect them.

Personally, I really enjoyed having my head shaved, as short as it lasted. It was a fun, but strange and memorable experience. Sort of having tried bungee-jump or something, I guess? Something that I'm happy I have tried, but will never do again.

I did learn a lot about people though. People can be complete and total bastards about something that in no way affects them or have anything to do with them.

Story time
But first a slight detour and some explanation for the story:
I've written about this a lot on my blog before. I have super sensitive skin that takes a lot of careful planning and care to maintain. It sucks now and it sucked worse when I was younger. It has gotten a lot better since I discovered Korean skincare back in 2014, but it will probably never be pretty and flawless. Just ten years ago, it seemed like the western market only had three skintypes: "Normal", "combination" and "trouble skin". Well, I didn't have normal skin, or combination skin, so I would have to have trouble skin, right? And it was troublesome, so it's logical to assume it. So spent most of my skincare time trying to exfoliate and dry out my skin to fix it, based on what I believed was right. Of course I only made it worse.
I learned how people can be absolute and total assholes based on what your skin looks like: The immediate assumption is that you're unhygienic, lazy, possibly stupid and dirty. People will more or less insult you, and then immediately recommend their own products even if they have an opposite skin type from you. All people believe they are good, but most are really horrible, shallow and well, sometimes just plain evil.

Now on to the story itself:
When I moved away from home to go to uni, I made a really good friend. We lived in opposite dorm buildings and pretty much spent all day together every day. She was a big girl. Like, really big. We bonded over how people can be assholes based on your appearance. True story!
Instead of gaining "The freshman 15", she actually lost weight. First unintentionally, I guess because she was removed from mom and dads cooking and had less money for snacks. But as soon as she noticed the weight loss, she started working on eating better and even started exercising. 
She unloaded to me how awful it made her feel that people now treated her differently from before. Suddenly she wasn't that fun, fat one in any group. 
I felt for her. It's a horrible lesson in human shallowness and horribleness.
We bonded further on this. I have noticed the same reaction when I wear makeup or not.
Then I shaved my head.
Something that in no way affected anyone else. And yet a lot of people were awfully rude about it. I learned a lot about so-called "friends" and their true colours.
But my best friend at the time? The one I thought would be the one who would really understand that my change in appearance had nothing to do with her, and I could use someone to unload on when people reacted "funny" to it?
She was embarrassed to be seen with me.
Yes, you read that correctly.
The one friend I thought would understand what I was going through, was being the worst of them all. 
It really hurt.
People are awful.

I don't regret shaving my head. It was a fun experience and it thought me a lot about people. If I could go back, I would do it again.


  1. Funnily enough, I hated people that did this and very often, befriended all the people who were 'outcasts' according to the stupid social setting in school. I didn't play by the 'norm' and refused to let people tell ME who I could be friends with. I wanted to know real people, not fake followers of some silent trend I hated.

    My best friend in high school had cystic acne. Very, very bad. She wore a lot of make up to cover it up. I never saw that in her. I always saw a very kind, shy girl that was trying to fit in. I remember one of the 'popular' girls once complimented me on my appearance (I wore a skirt to school and well, that just made heads turn apparently?) and then said 'you should suggest to your friend to use less make up so her skin will clear up"
    "No it won't. She has cystic acne. That starts way deeper than regular acne." And they knew my dad was a scientist so this girl listened.
    But, very often when the 'popular' group spoke to me, they would always insult the friends I had. One was just awkward and loud, but she made me laugh and was inwardly very insecure.

    Both of them changed and became people I did not want to stay friends with, but I never once regretting getting to know the people I initially met. People change over time and my goals were clear: I wanted more in life than just parties and boys. That apparently made ME 'weird'.

    Sure. So, I hear you and feel for you---and I would NEVER not be friends with someone based solely on appearance. I never see anything wrong with people, other than a lousy attitude and a personality I don't want to get to know.

    ps--I hear you on the sensitive skin thing. I'm not nearly as bad as you but I've always had topical sensitivity to materials and lotions. AND oily skin. Ugh!

    1. If I could leave a thumbs up on your comment, I would!

  2. Yep. I had a high-school period where I had short "boy-style" hair and I earned the lovely nickname of "skinhead". Plus the hormonal acne skin in top (still there at 30+ uuurgh), nice years...

    By the way, I moved to Lund in December so if ever you're interested for fika or ice cream meet-up, let me know, could be fun! And ignore that if it makes you fell uncomfortable!

    1. I would love to :) Do you have any time in June that would work for you?

    2. Great! :D I'm working the whole June so basically evenings/weekends are fine (except this weekend)^^

    3. It looks like I'm free all day this Sunday (The 10th), would you have time then?

    4. Yep, free too! Here is my (trash because public) email to make communication easier: loov_rouge (at) hotmail (dot) com ;)