Well, I want to share the reply from Procter&Gamble in all it's condescending glory.
Link to my Google photos with the reply from P&G
I didn't have high expectations because contacting a company like this usually just results in "Aw, poor you, whatever", but this is pretty bad.
I have in my hands solid proof that this product doesn't do what it's supposed to because it simply doesn't have the right ingredients for it, and what it's advertised to do and I basically get a condescending headpat because "personal sensitivity to any ingredient is very individual and may happen". Yep, because that was the issue I had with their product.